Why are less and less people interested in relationships these days?
Why are more and more people settling for casual flings rather than braving a deep intimate relationship?
The blunt answer is because people have become lazy with their inner lives. Too many people opt for quick fix distractions than actually caring about their growth and fulfillment in life. I find this very very sad, and it’s a major motivator for me when it comes to dedicating myself to my coaching business.
Too many people are settling. Settling for less than ideal lives. When it comes to love and relationships, also when it comes to money, career, family. . . Just about everything. Most don’t really believe that a successful life is possible. Not unless they have been parented well and surrounded by positive influences. The rest of us, who are not born into happy healthy families, have to actively take on the task of fixing ourselves and our lives.
Love, relationships, dating. . . Take work. Firstly to create the life you would feel happy to share with another person. Most people don’t even get this far; they settle for a middle of the road pay and middle of the road job and coast on mediocrity for the rest of their lives. Having given up on love, they settle for one night stands, porn and escorts. To me; these people aren’t really alive. They are simply existing.
In order to achieve success in ANY area of life. . . we need to take action. Most people refuse to take action for improving their lives, because they’re too lazy, and they don’t think it’s possible to live a better life. No one has shown them that it’s possible. This is why it’s imperative to find good role models in life. People who are happy, successful, in love and thriving. I personally have had the privilege of meeting and spending time with such people. . . so I myself have higher goals for myself now that I know what is possible.
This is why coaching is a fast-growing field. It pays well, coaches are generally fairly determined to get results (by investing in their own coaches) and then their wisdom trickles down into the lives of their clients, adding value and benefit to all.
Most men I know today don’t feel worthy of relationships unless they themselves are ‘successful’ and ‘have something to offer’ a woman. This way of thinking is damaging, false and fuels a negative cycle. The only way to healing is to first realize there is nothing wrong about you and nothing lacking in you. Once you realize your inherent fullness and completion. . . from there you can proceed with healing your wounds and empowering yourself. You cannot heal if you believe you are broken.
Anyways this is the hopeless and helpless cycle I see many people stuck in. To get anywhere in life you have to believe you can change. You have to start looking for evidence of what is possible for you. Then you have to dedicate yourself to achieving results no matter what. That is the only way up and out of the lower energies and lower states of consciousness.
This takes time. It is about learning new habits and forming a new lifestyle based on the kinds of consciousness raising activities you absolutely must engage in to change your thoughts, beliefs and results. Because most people refuse to do this, they never find love, not to mention believe in it. Once again I am very disheartened by this. Albert Einstein said “You cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it.” This is why meditation and personal development is key. Until you change your energy you cannot change any circumstances.
Here is a badass article written by Kelly Marceau that I find is brilliant at describing cowardly dating trends.
http://kellymarceau.com/ghosting-latest-cowardly-pop-culture-dating-trend/
Hope this gives you something to contemplate. Don’t be a man who never believes in himself and never finds love. Do your work, get curious about what you need to learn to transcend your current obstacles. Relationships are supposed to be holy temples where we are reverent before each other, as we bow before royalty. Relationships are containers to nurture us as we do our inner work to grow and evolve into the people we are capable of being. They are not for the faint of heart, and right relationship is EARNED. Every relationship is an assignment (says the Course in Miracles) and it is our responsibility to see to it that we learn our lessons. If we don’t we will just keep attracting the same situations over and over until we graduate onto the next lesson. I heard something clever on Oprah the other day. . . “If you learned something from your last relationship, or the last date you went on, or job you had (insert whatever is applicable), then think of it as TUITION. You learned something, you graduated, you paid tuition. Now what’s next?
People are not healing from their previous experiences and relationships. Instead they remain wounded and jaded and live out the rest of their lives with a biased negative point of view. There is always something to learn from everything we go through, but it’s YOUR JOB and YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to find the pearls of wisdom in your circumstances. Your spiritual path is no one else’s journey but your own. If you are not interested in your own life. . . life will not give you more opportunities. You have to be a good student to graduate to the next level of your journey. As harsh as it may sound, if you do not succeed in life, it’s no one’s fault but your own. (Yes no matter what may have happened to you.) You are always presented with the opportunity to rise out of a victim mentality and cultivate a mindset for success. But you have to make that choice for yourself. And receive support about how to go about it. (I am talking mostly to middle/upper-class citizens here. . . Exceptions to this point include minority groups and people who face grave injustice; starving children in Africa, employers who do not hire fairly, the disabled and anyone hard done by. . . I am simply stating that we always have a choice to look for solutions or dwell in problems. Think of Viktor Frankl who survived the Holocaust and wrote one of the most inspiring books ever written, and countless other examples of people who came from very hard circumstances and used them as fuel for their own success.)
Relationships take work. Just like a garden, if you do not tend to it by watering, replenishing the soil, giving sunlight. . . There is no fertile ground for any flowers to blossom. You don’t deserve a flower if you are going to refuse to take care of it. It’s the same in a relationship. Dig deeper inside yourself and find the place that deserves to be loved, only then will you allow someone else to love you back.
Happy Holiday Season, Klara <3
Great article, so I’m posting it. . . It reveals the urgent epidemic of MCS. . . ‘masculine checkout syndrome.’
As I’ve experienced this profession, I’ve really grown to see my purpose in it. I am a re-awakener of Traditional
Greetings Gentlemen, I wanted to provide a taste of my hosting venue so you can visually feel the energy of