In tribute to a gentleman I saw this week, and may I say I have seen MANY of you with this issue … What do you do when you and your woman want and desire different levels of sex and intimacy?
Some of you have been married or partnered for 10+ years and the ‘magic’ has died. This is the main reason most of you even began seeing escorts in the first place. YOU ARE NOT BAD MEN, in many cases your woman has simply lost interest.
This brings up many things for me to say:
4. Have you asked your woman what she needs/desires? Make some extra effort to be there for her. To comfort her and to listen to her. What does she need that she’s not currently getting? And how can you provide it? Time to gear up your knight in shining armour and go to her rescue.
5. Have you told her YOUR deepest needs and desires? Have you expressed that you’re not getting what you’re currently desiring? Be sure to do this with love and care, not anger, resentment or fear.
6. Have you read Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages? Apparently we all feel and express love differently; by compliments, by gifts, by spending quality time, by physical touch … How does your lady desire to feel loved by you? Also how do YOU desire to be loved by your lady?
7. Speaking of Gifts … I love getting gifts when I am down or exhausted or depressed … Here are some ideas: Classy Lingerie
8. Anything by her favourite designer; make up, perfume, watch, earrings, a scarf or chapeau …
9. Or if she is more outdoorsy… Plan a weekend getaway or to take a day hike or ski together. Or a trip to LeNordik.com Most importantly ASK HER what she wants and deliver it to her in a masculine and chivalrous demeanour.
10. If MONEY is a main area of tension between you … Take a wealth consciousness workshop together or start listening to high consciousness audio books together. Eg: The Science of Getting Rich, Think and Grow Rich, Ask and it is Given, Leveraging the Universe, anything by Tony Robbins, David Naegle, David Deida etc … And many more. Take control of your life as a couple by getting clear on what you need to work on to be happier together. Then make an action plan and DO IT.
11. Take a sex or tantra class together, or even go on a couples workshop in Hawaii or LA. Hire a romance and intimacy mentor. Really there are ALOT of brilliant mentors out there. Just google and you’ll see. If you need recommendations you can ask me, or I’ll post more later when I’m actually at a computer.
12. Other fun things would be finding a couple/couples to swing with, and/or start practicing Orgasmic Meditation.
13. Have you two discussed what the purpose of your relationship is? Having a deeper spiritual meaning to your coupledom can increase enjoyment and significance to each other.
14. Check in and ask yourselves- Have we stopped appreciating each other? That is a big one. I’ve read studies that say the main reason for separations is a lack of appreciation for the other.
In summary, don’t blame yourself for the lack of intimacy in your relationship. Instead get curious and start your inquiry into what is really going on at a deeper level and how you may fix it. Look for solutions and do not dwell in problems. Or simply get clear that you no longer want the same things, are no longer compatible, and start the process of conscious uncoupling (coined by Katherine Woodward Thomas). I believe she has a book on that 😉
Lots of love and happy couple times 🙂
Klara
Great article, so I’m posting it. . . It reveals the urgent epidemic of MCS. . . ‘masculine checkout syndrome.’
As I’ve experienced this profession, I’ve really grown to see my purpose in it. I am a re-awakener of Traditional
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