Masculine Checkout Syndrome
Great article, so I’m posting it. . . It reveals the urgent epidemic of MCS. . . ‘masculine checkout syndrome.’
As I’ve experienced this profession, I’ve really grown to see my purpose in it.
I am a re-awakener of Traditional Romantic Ideals. Though I started my work as a sacred sexual priestess after I was devastatingly rejected/neglected/not chosen by the love of my life. (And if you were to ask many a SP about her dating history. . . well apparently the statistic is pretty high that a woman chooses this way of life after having experienced irreconcilable heartbreak.)
I’ve done some work with my business mentor about the fact that this business was born from heartache and numbing despair. (Generally not a good foundation for success 😉 But I’ve discovered that. . .The Light and Truth in what I do is bringing men back to honouring the wisdom of the feminine and all the gifts she brings in the form of a sacred relationship/divine temple. (Instead of them getting stuck in mega heavy patriarchal ideals of what it means to be a successful man these days.)
The heartbreaking truth is that men are choosing money/profit/conquerer mentality OVER loving and committing to a woman and all the magic/love/blessings she births when she is IN LOVE. (The secondary effects on HIM are unlimited; including bringing him so close with his own Source that he himself feels his limitlessness. This would HELP him with the growth of a career and not hinder it.) When two people are in love they can basically light up the entire planet, the power there is incredible. I feel like people really don’t know what to do with it or how to hold it!
From ‘A Woman’s Worth’ by Marianne Williamson:Â
” A woman in love can do anything. She can run a business, bear children, make art, make love, cook meals, lead a nation, and figure out how to look great. But if she is not in love she lacks energy; and if she is in love but spurned she can lack the will to live. Women need to be in love: with themselves, with a man, with a child, with a project, with a job, with their country, with the planet and- most important- with life itself. Women in love are closer to enlightenment. For angels and lovers, everything sparkles.”Â
Note: I’ve also heard the same thing from men about women. That all they care about is income/security/business etc. So this toxic pattern happens both ways, and it’s important to be able to recognize when someone is caught in this phase. If they are, there’s really no hope for a relationship as they are prioritizing everything but.
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This is obviously what happened to me, and through this painful experience a beautiful message and purpose was born. Though in the future I would like to transition into some form of love coaching, I just know I’m not quite ready for that yet. But it would be in teaching couples how to be leaders in the new paradigm (a world where LOVE leads and not just profit.) Favouring conscious entrepreneurship over the corporate conquerors of today.
For now and until I reach my next stage of business evolution I specialize in assisting men going through heartbreak, divorce, grief, who are looking/struggling to attract in a partner, or suffering from low self-esteem/self-confidence/inadequacy. (And of course some more standard sessions, which are OK as long as we get along and there’s mutual respect.)
Right now the dating world is so strife with wounded people seeking other wounded people. We have been looking for woundmates instead of soulmates. People to match our wounds instead of our True Potential. This happens when we don’t do our personal inner work.
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We have GOT TO START DOING OUR HEALING WORK and yes that means going to therapy after your bad break ups and divorces! If we do not successfully glean the wisdom from our past experiences then we are DOOMED to repeat them. This is why I sometimes meet men in their 60’s STILL having the same emotional patterns over and over and over.
Recommended Reading: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
Let me just add. . . TRAUMA SUCKS. We’ve all experienced various forms of it. I think it’s very true that most of us have some kind of PTSD. Whether it’s heartbreak, divorce, deaths in the family, loss of a job, loss of personal identity etc.Sometimes it can take YEARS to heal from (sexual abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, bad break ups, divorces, bankruptcy, loss of position etc.) So we will meet people at the same emotional vibration we are at. If we are feeling broken we will most likely encounter other broken souls. This is because there is no faking where you’re at. If you’re still healing from trauma, you will not attract someone healed, healthy and thriving. It just wouldn’t be comfortable. We attract people who are somehow reflections of who we are and how we are. It’s not always a linear co-relation; ie I attracted a neglectful partner, not because I’m also neglectful of others, but because I NEGLECTED MY OWN NEEDS. I didn’t put myself first, so I attracted someone that couldn’t put me first either. That one took me a while to see 😉 So these are all the reasons why it’s so hard to find a healthy relationship. YOU NEED TO BE HEALTHY FIRST.
What does a healed person look like? (And I don’t want to downplay this, it can take A LONG TIME AND MANY YEARS to heal properly from trauma.)
They are at peace. At peace with the past and all of its atrocities. They have realized the part they played in the drama and taken full responsibility for their own mistakes. They are accepting of where they are at. They have developed love and concern for their own emotional/spiritual well-being. They have forgiven. Their heart is open and ready to love again.
They have also learned their lessons. Grown wiser from their experiences instead of bitter. They have reached a state of GRATITUDE for all the pain they’ve been through. They now see the purpose of it. They have a new perspective where their new reality actually makes sense. And they have hope. Hope for a brighter future.
When we are healed we can live from a heart space. Love, joy, celebration, compassion, empathy, togetherness, beauty, enjoyment.
People who are not healed are stuck in judgment, resentment, anger, hate, bitterness, and all the effects of untreated trauma.
But the journey is in learning how to COME BACK TO THE LOVE VIBRATION
Because once you are there, you realize all the blessings that came in the form of road blocks.
And this my friends is what I’m here to help people with. To navigate the storms and return to the safe haven in your heart.
If I can successfully manage to do that, then I can say I would be pretty satisfied with my life’s work.
Love, Klara
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